Category: Healthy Sexuality

Tips For “Bouncing Your Eyes” And Counteracting Lust

A couple of years ago I was counseling a young man that I had become close to (in an appropriate, motherly way, of course). We had met for breakfast and he knows how much I love the Lord so he was opening up about some of his personal struggles.

As he was grasping for the words to explain a certain matter to me he just blurted out, “Miss Sheri, I struggle so much with lust!”

Wow.

I didn’t see that coming.

As he continued to tell me how he views women and how his co-workers and non-christian friends encourage this type of behavior, I was silently taking a deep breath and seeking God for the right response.

I began to explain yet again to him how every young lady he lusts after is another man’s wife. Even if she is “The One,” lusting after her is not honoring her as a whole woman. As a woman created in the image of God. As a daughter of the King.

I admonished him, when he saw ANY young lady, to pray:

Lord, help me not to do ANYTHING that would cause that young lady to sin.
And I lift up her future husband and future marriage to you,
that you would bless them and draw them to each other,
and to Yourself,
In Jesus’ name, amen.

Since that conversation I have discovered the following three videos by Dr Doug Weiss. I’ve seen him on several tv programs and YouTube videos and he is very good.

His websites are:

SexAddict.com
DrDougWeiss.com
DrDougWeiss.org
IntimacyAnorexia.com
Doug Weiss on YouTube

In the first video you will be introduced to the idea of the “Holy Hologram.” You may need to listen to this a few times to really “get it.”

Please pray for this young man, and ANY man you know for that matter. Many are struggling, especially in our sex-saturated culture.

Clean: The DVD (Sneak Peak):

Porn And The Brain:

Dirty World Declared:

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When Porn Strikes Your Family

 

When Porn Strikes Your Family

This post is for the If I Had A Son Series.

I recently came across statistics that revealed that 2 out of every 3 men view porn online at least once a week.

One out of 3 believe they are addicted.

Those are sobering statistics. Considering that I have 3 daughters, and one day will have 3 sons-in-law, that means statistically 1 or 2 of my daughters will have to deal with these ugly monsters called pornography and/or porn addiction.

Men-and-Women-Viewing-Porn-Stats

Men are 543% more likely to look at porn than females.

Even Christian homes are feeling the effects of porn. You can view an article at the Huffington Post here.

I understand from previous research that the male mind thinks a sexual thought every 7 seconds. I remember one book in which the author’s wife was utterly appalled when she read the draft of his book! I’m appalled too, but it’s important to understand that men really are wired differently that women. That’s why it’s vitally important for women to consider their own conduct as well.

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust
after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Matthew 5:28KJV

I’ve heard talk of men “bouncing” their eyes in order to keep their minds pure. Growing up hearing from men the old saying, “You can look but you can’t touch,”  and seeing filthy calendars occasionally lining garage walls and workshops, I find the idea that a man would actually honor God, his wife, and his marriage by bouncing his eyes quite impressive!

I wish that kind of God-fearing character for my future sons.

There are so many books, videos, and resources available today that no man (or woman, for that matter) needs to fight the battle alone.

Here are a list of books I have read at least a portion of:

Every Man’s Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker
Every Young Man’s Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker
Clean by Dr. Doug Weiss
Not Even A Hint by Joshua Harris

And for the women:

Every Woman’s Battle
Every Young Woman’s Battle

Dr Doug Weiss resources:

DrDougWeiss.com
DrDougWeiss.org
Dr Weiss On YouTube

Our church participates with Celebrate Recovery.

And that’s just for starters. There are many more resources available. Search out God-honoring material for lasting purity.

Check out CovenantEyes.com for computer and device protection or sign up through Dr Doug’s website here.

And here is a excerpt from an episode of the Bates Family’s Bringing Up Bates on UPTV where they visit the ocean. Note Nathan Bates as he says, “Our parents always try to encourage us to guard your eyes, someday your wife will appreciate it.”

So true, so true.

moms-heart-75x75

 

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Tips For “Bouncing Your Eyes” And Counteracting Lust

Unresolved Anger Hampers Healthy Sexuality In A Marriage

From Marriage Today:

We don’t always talk about it in church or among our friends, but sexual problems are one of the main causes of tension between married couples.

I’ve counseled many couples who marry with great sexual energy and attraction only to end up fighting—or even divorcing—because of sexual problems.

Unresolved anger is one of the main causes of sexual tension. Anger is inevitable in every marriage. There is simply no way two people can live together without getting upset at each other on a regular basis. Even healthy couples struggle with this.

The issue isn’t whether we will experience anger, but how we deal with it.

Read the rest of the story here.

For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
James 1:20 KJV

If anger is a constant companion in your marriage, start by voicing your forgiveness for your spouse outloud. Make sure the enemy of your marriage (the devil) hears you. Then tell your spouse that you said it and ask him/her to do the same outloud. Make it clear to the enemy that there is a “new game in town.”

I recently did this and I could feel something spiritually leave the room!

Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
James 4:7 KJV

And if your spouse refuses to resist the devil and continues to harbor anger, then that is between them and God. You have been obedient. But keep doing it anyway, until you see change in the natural realm.

Don’t give up and don’t stop until you have the victory!

moms-heart-75x75

You may also find helpful:

When Porn Strikes Your Family
Tips For “Bouncing Your Eyes” And Counteracting Lust

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